Tips for Men Starting Online Dating
Creating An Online Dating Profile

Advice (from a woman) for men.

Women look for several things when they see a profile of a man at an online dating site. Let's start with some of the basics.

Your Profile Picture

advice for women searching for love online

It is best you submit a RECENT picture.  You may think that the picture of you from 10 years ago still looks like you do today, but it is much better that you show a picture that is less than a year old. The photo should be in color, show you smiling (at least with a grin), and if you have one a full body shot. 

Now, having said that, if you feel a bit uncomfortable with your less than full head of hair, or the bit of a full midriff, you can certainly throw a cap on your head and wear a loose shirt or jacket, but just remember to be HONEST when you describe your physical appearance.  Don't forget, if you plan on meeting someone in person that you met online, they are going to find out the truth anyway, so it is best to be straight right up front.

Don't copy a picture from the internet and try to pass "it" off as yours.  Again you will be found out in the 'encounter'.  HONESTY in pictures is a must!

Online Dating Profile

We all know that it can be very hard to write about yourself.  The best thing you can do is take a piece of paper and write things about yourself.  Your job, hobbies, sports interests, etc.  Some really good points to make are, for example, that you love walks along the beach, that you're not a couch potato, that music is a major part of your life, etc.  Hey if you can cook, you can bet you will have many interested females! Remember you MUST be truthful as the woman who likes your profile is going to like you for who you portray.  Don't say you can cook if you can only boil water.  Don't say you watch little TV when you sit in front of it 6 hours a day.

As far as your job or income information, decide whether or not you feel that this is a big part of who you are, as well as if you want a mate to be attracted to you because of your job or income (or lack thereof).  This can be tricky.  Not everyone cares whether you pack groceries or sell stocks for a living, but don't kid yourself, there are ones out there that do.  If you want someone to care for who you are and not what you are then either leave this area alone or try to give as little information as possible.

Do I Have To Tell My Real Age?


For some age will not be a problem.  For others it will.  Whether you are looking for a younger woman, or you are young and looking for an older woman, or you're just not wanting to admit your age because you are worried this may turn someone off...Do Not Lie!!  As I stated about your picture, when you meet that special someone they will know that you lied about your age so don't do it.  Do you feel younger than you are?  Put that in your profile.  Age doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to be "put out to pasture" and if that special someone reads your profile and is interested, age may not be very important.

Martial Status/Children

If you are married and looking for a "good time" but not a long term commitment then be up front about it.  In some online dating sites this will be a non-issue.  Even in other online dating sites you may find someone that doesn't care if you are married.  But, again, be honest.  One of the worse things you can do is string along a potential mate and have them find out later that the Mrs. is at home with the kids while you are out with her.  This will end the connection very fast. 

Married and unhappy?  Say so.  Maybe it is best you just find a friend that you can talk to.  Maybe they are in the same situation.  Bottom line, if you fool around and she does that what is to stop that happening over and over again.  My personal opinion is get out of the marriage before you go looking.  Try not to bring too much baggage into a new relationship.

Separated/Divorced with children?  Spell it out.  Some women would love the thought of being with you and your children, while others will not.  Again, don't lie.  If you spring the children on her after the fact the chances of the relationship going anywhere is slim.


Ok these are some of the issues you may not want to talk about, especially when you are trying to meet a mate.  Maybe you have a drug history, or a current one, drink a bit too much, smoke, whatever the habit may be, so what do you say.  This is a tough one.  In my opinion, I think that anything that is in your past is best left unsaid until you meet your potential mate.  At that point, as hard as it may be, you have to be honest.  Telling something a month or two later will sound like you are trying to hide something. 

But what do you say in your profile?  First of all, if you smoke, admit it.  If you drink, admit that as well.  Not everyone smokes/drinks, but they will base their decision on whether or not they want to continue contact on your habits.  Are you going to try to give up smoking?  Say that.  Bottom line, as in all things, be honest.  You don't have to spill your whole life history online, but just remember that when you meet this person you will want to be straight with her if you want the relationship to continue.

Alternative Preferences

If you are bisexual, into S&M, B&D, polyamory, etc., it is very important that this goes in your bio, unless you are a member of a online dating site that caters to the alternative lifestyle. In that case you would have stated those preferences in your profile. You are more likely to meet a "like minded" mate if you are up front about your preferences.  It is unlikely that you will find someone that will be interested in your 'alternative preferences' after you have been honest.  This does not always hold true as some women will try to accommodate a man she has feelings for, but in the long run she is more likely to drop you once she realizes that it was not her preference but yours.

If you are into personal behaviors such as cross-dressing, wearing women's under-garments, etc., this is a judgment call.  It may not be necessary to tell this up front, but just remember that if the relationship starts to pick up it is better to say it sooner rather than later.  If she is not open minded enough, you want to know NOW.


From a women's point of view, what I can tell you guys is to be honest (as I am sure you have noticed I have put that in bold).  Show your most recent picture, provide a truthful profile and state your true martial status.  Women do care about looks, but they will be drawn more to who you are inside and your interests.

We are all different and I truly believe that there is someone out there for all of us...our soulmate.  But you will never find her unless you are open and honest about what you look like, who you are and your lifestyle. 

If any of you guys would like any further advice drop me an email at:  In the subject line put "A guy needs help".

Happy Online Dating!!

(written by Jan)

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